Shirou "The Jackhammer Prodigy" Emiya

(pictures are already uploaded on nurutut wiki so i won't upload them here)



"I am the bone of my Jackhammer. 

''Jackhammer is my body and concrete is my blood. ''

''I've created over a thousand portholes. ''

Unknown to fluorescent vest, nor known to steel-toe boots.

Have withstood sweating to create many portholes.

Yet those hands will never stop having blisters.

So as I play, unlimited Jackhammer warks."

Appearance
Shirou, or "The Jackhammer" (nickname that his female friend gave him), is young man with short red hair and brown eyes. Usually he wears simple t-shirt, jeans and speaker but when it's battle time, he wears his helmet instead of ninja headband.

Reason he does this is to show he is proud of his bloodline, The Bloodline Of The Jeiri Springu.

Personality
He has a little bit of "empty" personality, but it's a big deal when compared to Sasuke or Naruto. He is very stubborn and always there when someone needs rape.

Background
That fated day in Konoha, sound of jackhammers announced Shirou's birth. It was a big shock since everyone thought that the (in)famous Jackhammer clan was extinct. (The Jackhammer clan was famous with women but infamous with men)

Then the beta men of Uchiha clan got jealous since it meant their clan is going to cease existing since women won't be interested in their quasi-dark personalities anymore because THE JACKHAMMER is here.

Anyways, they decided to target babby Shirou while he is still weak, or so they thought.. One of those beta Uchiha men kidnapped him and decided to bring him to the Uchiha headquarters where all men gathered to finish the "Kill the enemy of the clan" ritual.

And just about when they activated their funny red eyes, Shirou's eye power activated too. His eyes weren't red with black dots like their, in his eyes there was an image of the ultimate jackhammer (BRAND NAME 2200WATT DEMOLITION JACK HAMMER).

So babby Shirou unconsciously used the power of Jackhammer eyes and jackhammered all the Uchihas, killing them in process. Only two were left, Itachi Uchiha and Sasuke Uchiha.

Village council knew Shirou did it unconsciously and they didn't like the Uchihas anyways so they simply blamed Itachi Uchiha for everything and banned him from the village.

They let Sasuke stay, since he was in special needs class anyway (But he was the best student special needs class, it's also the class where he met his friends, Naruto and Sakura.)

Back to Shirou.

After that incident he lived a peaceful childhood. Since his parents died shortly after birth (they died tragically because Japanese cold), he was adopted by Kayneth "Fast Wheels" Archibald El Melon who he called Uncle Melon.

He didn't know about his hidden power since Uncle Melon didn't care that much about him and he was busy "training" with his mercury blob.

When he entered ninja high school he met Educated Prostitute. Her trained senses, sensed Shirou's hidden Jackhammer powers the second he entered high school.

She tried to make him use his powers on her, but he didn't believe her. Still that encounter left curiosity in him. He visited his old home (home of his parents) and there he found the yellow helmet used by the Jackhammer clan. He found a note written by his father.

Dear Shirou, 

This is a helmet used by the famous Jackhammer clan, 

You have hidden Jack-Off powers you are not aware of, yet.

Please stop wearing that homosexual pussy deflector- I mean ninja headband

Please wear this helmet instead, if you are a true man and a successor to the Jackhammer clan.

I love you very much.

-Your father

Then Shirou put his helmet on and activated his powers.



So time passes again and suddenly the 7th Holy Ninja War starts and Shirou is one of the participants! He jackhammers a lot during that war and suddenly meets Fakku Muscle, mysterious person who also bears the power of Jackhammers!

Who is this man??



A shocking discovery reveals that Fakku Muscle is his future self who has come back in time to try to kill Jackhammer. This is because he has become disillusioned from jackhammering too many land whales. His hair and skin tone has changes from the enormous amount of STDs he has collected over his life span and because of that he became a Guido ninja, a bad type of ninja.

Powers and Abilities

 * Shirou is extremely dense. Shirou's Jackhammer-using ancestors lived in the mountains, where the increased gravity compressed their bodies. Shirou has inherited this compression.


 * Cooking Rank A: Any meal Shirou makes is fuckin' delicious. Like, really really good. [[File:Jackhammer_eye_power.jpg|thumb|246px|This is the famous Jackhammer eye power activated

100 times stronger than Sharingan. Rumored to be the strongest eye power ever.]]


 * Jackhammer Eyes (????, lit. Jackhammer Eyes): The kekkei genkai of the Jackhammer Clan. It allows the user to understand and memorize the concept, structure, material, creation process, history, and age of any jackhammer with a single glance, and store them within the mind's Jackhammer Eyes. By manifesting a Jackhammer within the Jackhammer eyes, the user can jackhammer anything within his range of vision. The ability also increases the precision of the user's sight, allowing him to accurately jackhammer even a moving target from four kilometers away.


 * Brand Name 2200W Demolition Jackhammer: Manufactured by Boeing Co., this legendary ninja tool was a family heirloom of the Emiyas until it was lost 20,000 years ago. However, using its structure, stored in the genes of his ancestry, he can manifest it within his Jackhammer eyes. Has the power to break apart anything in the world. Not even diamond, the strongest metal, can withstand the destructive power of the Brand Name 2200W Demolition Jackhammer.


 * Jackhammer no Jutsu: Shirou pierces his opponent's weak point with his jackhammer. Has a mana-draining effect. In addition, when used on women, increases his affection stat.


 * Helmet: Helmet is legendary item passed down form generation to generation, it blocks out any negative interference and makes Shirou focus on being really angry at himself.


 * Don't trust those new niggas over there~ Leavin' they nigga esscence in the air~

Relationships
Shirou cannot have relationships or his muscles turn into swords.

Quotes
"Jackhammer on."

"I am the bone of my jackhammer"

"Here I come, King of Constructors. Do you have enough cement blocks in stock?"

"Believe it!"

"People die if they are killed."

"I do not Jackhammer maidens... I create a world in which infinite maidens are Jackhammered!"